Falling apart...

Sometimes circumstances cause us to take a good hard look at ourselves, and realise something that has always been there. Something that made you feel different from everyone else.
Such a realization can be scary, but it can also be liberating.
It may feel like you're falling apart, only to reveal another you. One that seems alien and yet very identifiable and familiar at the same time.
One that is unique and beautiful.

The Heart is an Ocean full of Secrets...

Sometimes we're lucky, and we find someone to whom we can entrust our deepest and sometimes darkest secrets. Inspired by Rose...

Embracing the Madness...

Most of us have been trying all of our lives to fit in, hiding our real selves under a layer of normalcy.
The moment we accept how the cards are dealt, ourselves the way we are and who we are meant to be, is the moment we accept our inner madness.
To all of you ready to accept yourselves, I take off my hat.

Masks...

We all wear them. Sometimes when we don't want people to know what we really feel. Sometimes to fool ourselves that if we ignore our feelings, they don't exist. Sometimes to protect ourselves.
There's an art in wearing masks. The art is not getting lost in hiding, and lose our real selves...

Wees Gelukkig

Be happy, or as we say in Holland, wees gelukkig. But there's a sense of irony there. Because those were your farewell words to me, just days before your passing.
So how can one actually be happy, when losing you left such a big void? You, who gave me life, and who probably knew me best.
That was the question I kept asking myself the year after your farewell.
Now I know I CAN be happy. It comes gradually, and sometimes your loss can still hit me like a hammer. But I've learned to enjoy small things even more, and all those small things compile into a great sense of happiness. My tattoo is a reminder of that. I love you Mom.

Walls...

Walls. We all build them. To protect ourselves from feeling grief, hurt or disappointment. Sometimes we build these walls so high, that we don't seem to feel anything anymore, but a distance between us and others. I used to have a wall built so high, that I was missing out on a lot of things. When I was 25, I decided it was time to break down the wall, and start feeling (living) again.
Sometimes that results in me getting hurt, and that can suck bigtime. But I'd rather feel, than building that wall around my heart again. Do you build walls as well?

Tainted...

We are born pure and innocent. As we grow, we get tainted. Tainted by experiences. By things that have been done to us, or by the things we do to other people.
We get hurt sometimes, or we make certain choices, not fully understanding the consequences.
But is that a bad thing? Is losing our purity really something to be sad about? Or does it actually mean our experiences make us more complete beings? More able to withstand the challenges we will face in the future, and more able to help others through difficult times, knowing there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. And most of all, more able to understand and accept ourselves.

You make my heart float...

But, seeing as the heart is really 'only' a muscle, and it's actually our brains that tell us how and what we feel, the sentence should be: You make my brain float.
But that just looks weird and less romantic, doesn't it?
Wishing you a Happy Valentines Day!

Helpless...

It was a sunny afternoon when a 4 year old girl went picking flowers at the school next to her home. When she had a nice bunch she suddenly noticed the man close by, who smilingly asked her if she would mind him picking some flowers as well. The girl smiled back.
A moment later she was grabbed by the arm, and pulled into some bushes next to the school. The little girl dropped her flowers. The man exposed himself to her.
Moments later he was startled by the little girl's mom, who was calling her daughter. He ran away, and the little girl ran to her mom, telling her about the nice man, who pulled her into the bushes, and who spilt milk on her.
It took years for the little girl to understand what had happened. By then she had become an insecure girl, with serious trust issues, who for some time had been afraid of sleeping with the lights off.
When she became 25 years old, she decided she had been a victim long enough, and with the help of a friend who practised reiki, she finally learned to deal with what she had experienced.
CHILDREN DON'T FORGET...
This is a true story. And yes, the little girl was me, and my mom the hero of this story.

Struggling...

Sometimes situations pile up in a way that we cannot seem to cope with them anymore. Where we find ourselves struggling to keep our heads above water, while all the while something seems to keep pulling us downwards.

Overcome...

No matter how life and people try to pull us down, and wreck our self confidence, we have the power to overcome our struggles. To become stronger than ever before, and more capable of dealing with obstacles yet to come.
Like a phoenix rises from the ashes, so we rise from our past...

Unwelcome Friend...

You come and you go. Sometimes I like having you around, when I'm feeling overcrowded and want to be left alone.
But most of the time you creep up on me, when I least expect it. And always you overstay your welcome. Although I'm surrounded by people I love and who love me back, you're always lurking in the shadows, just waiting for the right moment to visit me again. Your name: Loneliness...

Gatekeeper...

Sometimes the 'what ifs' cause me to suffer from insomnia. What if I had said this? What if I had done that? What if this or that happened?...
The same thoughts keep repeating themselves in my head, like fish swimming in a bowl, going nowhere.
It's me who is allowing these thoughts to enter my brain, taunting me and keeping me awake.
Conclusion: I'm the gatekeeper to my own prison.

Wallflower...

A small, insignificant flower, who has to work hard for her place in the sunshine. One that is often outshined and unnoticed. But also one that is sturdy and persevering.
Personally I can relate to the wallflower, having felt like one for the large part of my life.
It will never go unnoticed in my garden...